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Basic questions about sex 
(frequency, peak & endings)

Ask Shan & Claude,
My name is Jason and I just have a few first time questions about sex.

1) How do I know enough is enough?

2) If my girlfriend reaches her peak or visa versa, what is to happen?

3) What will end the act of sex for both of us?

If you can respond ASAP I will greatly appreciate it. Thank you Jason

Dear Jason,
We are not sure what the “enough” is so it is hard for us to answer.  We assume the enough is enough sex.  You can have as much sex as you want  ­ assuming it is consensual with another person or with yourself!  The only time sex may become problematic is if you can’t stop yourself and you get fired from a job or jobs because of sex or if you do it so much it causes you physical pain and you can’t stop.  The main question is ­ are you in control or is sex in control?  People get wrapped up in numbers and so forth ­ but usually number focused people are missing a lot about sex.  For some people once a year is fine ­ for others once day is what they would prefer. 

 Each person has his or her own preference. We are also not sure what you mean by “your girlfriend reaching her peak.”  Do you mean orgasm or her psychological peak or her physical peak?  Sex is sort of like dancing. 

 Sometimes one person ends early, sometimes you end at the same time, sometimes one person would like to continue but they are sick or have a headache or are tired. Sometimes you quit dancing after one song ­ while some people dance the night together.  Some people just stop when they both have a smile on their face! The end just sort of happens.  It is hard to explain ­ it is one of those things in life that must be experienced.  It is sort of like trying to explain skiing to someone who lives in a tropical rainforest and who has never even heard of snow.  Some things cannot be put into words well.  We are sure some day you will know the answer to this! Shan & Claude



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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS
"Alex" Caroline Robboy is a certified sex therapist through the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists and an American Board Certified Sexologist. In addition, she is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and a member of the North American Society for Psychological Obstetrics and Gynecology.


  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 

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