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How to get even wetter (written by Yvonne Fulbright, MS.Ed.)

Ask Yvonne, 
I have a problem while having sex with my boyfriend, he would be all excited and wet and I would be excited but not wet, eventually he would enter, have the time of his life, has an orgasm, and I fake it sometimes. Want I wanted to know is what is my problem? And how can I help it? My second problem anytime we have sex maybe a day or two later my vagina would become irritated. I was wondering why is this happen to me, this is causing a problem between the two of us because sometimes I just don't want to have sex with him and he is so sweet. Please help us. Will try anything!

Dear Will Try Anything,
A likely reason for you having trouble getting wet during sex is that not enough foreplay – or arousal time – is taking place. It takes longer for women to get their juices going than it does for men. You and your boyfriend should spend more time getting you turned on. Play with your clitoris more. Have him tap into your G-spot. Use sex toys or pornography for extra stimulation. Furthermore, use some lubrication, like KY jelly, during sex play, and on his penis and/or condom. If none of that works, then you may want to evaluate your sexual feelings for him. Are you attracted to him? Does he turn you on? Why are you in a relationship with this guy and sleeping with him?

Also, you’re not doing yourself a favor by faking. Your boyfriend can’t help you out if he thinks that you’re having an orgasm. Let him know that you’re not getting wet and that this is impacting your ability to have an orgasm. Have him slow down in his pleasure and desire to reach an orgasm and let you “catch up.” Of all the ways to help a woman reach orgasm, a partner slowing down his own arousal is most effective.

About your vaginal irritation after sex… If you’re using condoms, you may be allergic to latex. If you’re having unprotected sex, you may be allergic to his sperm. If you’re using spermicide, you may have a spermicide allergy. Depending on what kind of vaginal irritation you’re talking about, your irritation may be due to vigorous thrusting, or the dryness you’re complaining about. Yvonne K. Fulbright, MS.Ed.



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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS

Ms. Robboy is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of The Center for Growth Inc and How To Have Good Sex Inc.  Alex practices marriage and family therapy and sex therapy, and also conducts periodic seminars about human sexuality throughout the northeastern United States.

Ms. Robboy graduated from the University of Pennsylvania where she earned a Masters degree in Social Work, a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education and a Post-Masters Certificate in Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy. Through the American Board of Sexology, she is a board certified sexologist and through the American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists a certified sex therapist.  Additionally, she is a licensed clinical social worker and a member of the American Board of Marriage and Family Therapy.


  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 

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