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Masturbation
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Does masturbation make me less responsive in bed? (written by Yvonne, Fulbright
MS.Ed.)
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Masturbation
(written by other
sexperts)
HTHGS:
Does masturbation make me less responsive in bed? (written by Yvonne, Fulbright
MS.Ed.)
Ask
Yvonne,
I
recently started to have sex with my new boyfriend. We are very open with
each other (because we knew each other for six years before dating) and openly
talk about what does and does not please us sexually. He is the second
person I have had sex with. With the other man, I was able to have orgasms
from sex, at first. After starting to have sex with the first guy, I
started to explore my own body for the first time. I started masturbating,
and a few months after that I no longer had orgasms from sex. When I
masturbate, I focus a lot of attention on my clitoris. I was wondering if
maybe I made myself less sensitive from masturbating in between boyfriends.
And if there is a way that I can relearn how to have orgasms again from sex
again, especially since I used to be able to.
Thanks,
Hoping
to regain abilities.
Dear Hoping to Regain Abilities,
My first take on your situation is to wonder what you think about masturbation.
What were the messages you got about touching your body growing up?
If you were taught that it was shameful, dirty, sinful – basically
negative – then your body may be suppressing its sexual response out of guilt.
Try to train yourself to think that masturbation is a perfectly normal,
healthy activity that helps people to feel good and that helps to relieve
stress. Take the time to read
literature on masturbation, whether it’s how-to or personal stories of
self-pleasuring. Furthermore, make
sure that you have complete privacy when you masturbate.
Worrying about noise or disruption can ruin the moment and any hopes for
climax. Lastly, ask yourself some
tough questions about your relationship. The
problem may not be your self-pleasuring or sexual response cycle, rather issues
that are going on in your relationship and/or a lack of attraction for your
partner.
Yvonne Fulbright MS.Ed.
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