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Condoms
HTHGS: When and how to use
a condom (written by Kelly Connell)
Ask Kelly,
I am going to have sex with my partner and I am wondering when to put the condom
on? Also is there a step to use in between foreplay and intercourse to make sure
she stays hot? Jesse
Jesse,
Condoms can be used for prevention of pregnancy as well as reducing your risk
for sexually transmitted disease and HIV. You do not mention if your
girlfriend is a virgin as well.
For prevention of pregnancy
put the condom on before you insert your penis into her vagina. ANYTIME your
penis is inside her vagina, you need to have a condom on because 1. Men secrete
a small amount of "pre-come" prior to ejaculation that contains a few
million sperm, and men cannot always tell when this secretion takes place and 2.
Some men do not have very good ejaculatory control and therefore come inside
their partner when they don't want to or mean to (oops!). Having a condom on
will help with that. If you are looking to use a condom for protection from
disease as well, then you should follow the above instructions and ALWAYS have a
condom on when in or near her vagina. You may also want to use a condom if you
engage in oral or anal sex, as it is possible to contact a sexually transmitted
disease through these sexual acts as well. Do you know how to put on a condom
correctly? You can practice by yourself if you are comfortable, and then when
the time comes you will be more at ease with using a condom.
Start by using a latex or
polyurethane condom. Lambskin is porous and thus does not offer protection
against disease. Check the expiration date and make sure the wrapper has not
been broken. Open the condom is she does this or helps put it on, watch out if
she has long fingernails so she doesn't rip it.
Put the condom over the
head of your penis and ROLL IT DOWN all the way to the base of your penis. Make
sure you leave a little room at the tip to collect the semen. DO NOT
unroll it and put it on like a sock!! When the condom is on all the way it is OK
to have sex. You can check the condom during sex to make sure it has not
slipped off or broken. When in doubt replace it with a new one.
After you ejaculate, grab
the base of your penis where the end of the condom is and withdraw from her,
being careful not to let the condom slip or spill inside her.
Dispose of used condoms by
wrapping in tissue or toilet paper and throwing in the trashcan. DO NOT
flush then down the toilet!! You will clog up the septic system!
I also recommend using an
extra spermicide in addition to the condom, even though the condom has
spermacide in it. She can insert some contraceptive jelly, foam, film or
suppositories into her vagina about 10 minutes prior to intercourse and that
will give extra protection.
As for a step between
foreplay and intercourse...The first thing I recommend is TALKING to her and
asking her what she likes. Good communication is the key to a healthy sex
life.
I don't really think there
is one magic step, but you should continue the foreplay until you are ready to
have actual intercourse as her vagina could get a little dry in between and that
may make for uncomfortable sex. One example might be that if you are
having foreplay and stimulating her and then she stimulates you in return,
stimulate her again before you enter her. You can touch her clitoris or
vagina. Some women report having the inside of the vagina touched is very
pleasurable. Ask her if she is ready to have intercourse before you enter
her and she can tell you if she is ready or if she needs more stimulation.
Take
your time and explore each other's bodies. It may take a little while to
find your groove and find what is good for both of you. Keep trying! Sex
can only get better as you get to know each other better and are willing to work
at it. I hope this helps! If you have any more questions, email me. Good luck!
Kelly
HTHGS:
Condoms (written by Kelly Connell MS.Ed.)
Ask Kelly,
My girlfriend and I have been having sex for about 1 month
now and we are using the contraceptive method of condoms. I find that these
greatly reduce the "sensation", So we tried using personal lubricant
to help. This helped but still I have a problem. I often find it hard to achieve
an orgasm during sex. I think this is due to the condom but we have considered
all other types of contraception and none of them are an option. I can easily
achieve orgasm through other means of stimulation e.g. masturbation (from myself
and partner). I am totally comfortable having sex with her and being around her
in general she is the most wonderful person and she thinks that it is her fault.
It is good sex with her but it just does not feel know where near as good with
the condom on. Is there anything we can do? or anything you can suggest that
would help. Thank you
Dear David,
Have you tried Avanti brand condoms? They are made of polyurethane and thinner
than latex condoms, but are actually stronger. Many men report more sensitivity
with this brand. You can usually find them at your local drug store if you look
past the Trojan displays. Or try ordering online
Second, have you tried the female condom? it is also
made of polyurethane but it is inserted into her vagina and conducts heat and is
reported to feel more natural. DO NOT USE A MALE AND FEMALE CONDOMS TOGETHER.
THE FRICTION CAUSES BREAKAGE!! You don't say why other contraception methods are
an option. If she does not want to take hormones, have you considered a
diaphragm? It is non-hormonal and when used correctly, can be very reliable.
She has to go to the doctor and get fitted for one and you can insert it
together it you like.
Also, are you keeping track of her menstrual
cycle? If she has a regular period and can keep track of her cycle you may be
able to use natural family planning. This would mean not having sex during
the week or so she is ovulating. I normally do not recommend this, as it
takes discipline, a regular period and still has high failure rates. But if you
have exhausted all other options, it is something to consider. Her doctor can
give you a chart to track her cycle and teach you how to tell when she is
ovulating. It is obvious you care about your girlfriend and that is great.
You are right. It is not her fault.
It is not your fault either. Condoms, while necessary to protect your from
disease, can cut sensitivity and make ejaculation difficult sometimes. Try the
things I mentioned here and let me know how it works out. You have only been
having sex for 1 month and are still learning about each others bodies. Sex can
get better if both partners are willing to work at it. Good luck, Kelly Connell
MS.Ed.
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