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 Gag reflex
(how to have good sex)

 

 HTHGS: Gag reflex (written by Amanda Lambros, BA)

Dear Amanda, 
My b/f wants me to give him oral pleasure but the one time I did it, it was a very bad experience so I'm deathly afraid to try it on him. But I thought if I had a little instruction that I'd feel more comfortable doing it. I don't have the slightest clue as what to do so, if you could give me some how-to instructions on what to do and how to drive him crazy-I'd really appreciate it.  Thanks-Scared and uninformed  

 Dear Scared and Uninformed... 
I totally understand the whole 'one bad experience' thing but I can say from first hand knowledge that you can't base previous experiences on future experiences because you will never experience anything new. 

The whole gagging issue is normal. It is a reflex called the 'gag reflex'. Some girls experience this while brushing their teeth...so there's nothing to be worried about. The best advice that I can give you is to: 1- don't think about the act while you are doing it. think of something else.. and 2- breath in while giving head and this will cause the gag reflex to hide in the back of your throat and therefore you should be able to complete the act without gagging.  

One thing that guys love is that while giving head...focus on the 'tip' of the penis...this is anatomically similar to the clitoris and therefore loves attention. With one of your hands, cup his balls and gently play with them...this often gets them going.  The honest truth though...the above is great advice but if you still want to know how to drive him crazy, I would suggest asking him what he likes done and how. Men (surprisingly) are much like us...everyone is different and therefore some things may appeal to one that does not appeal to another.  I hope I've helped you out. Please Stay Safe and Enjoy! Amanda

 

 

HTHGS: Oral Sex (written by Amanda Lambros, BA)

Dear Amanda,  
Is there a certain technique that makes deep throating easier? I've tried it on my boyfriend but I always gag and I'm afraid that might make him feel guilty or grossed out. Also, is there a way that I can make him cum quicker, since I cannot last long because I gag too much.  Sincerely, Hopeful 

Dear Hopeful, 
Deep throating is basically the process of being able to take a man's penis deeper into your throat while performing oral sex. Some women have what is called a 'gag reflex' and others do not. From what you have described, it seems as though you are one of the girls that does actually have a gag reflex. There is nothing wrong with this. What I could suggest is that as you are going deeper, try breathing out at the same time. This will open the back of your throat up a little more, making it easier to take. Another thing I would suggest is to try not to think of deep throating, think of something else while you are doing it. This is a visual technique that might in fact slow down your gag reflex. 

Any noises or gags that you make should not make your boyfriend feel guilty or grossed out...if it does, he should tell you so. Unfortunately, there is NO WAY to make him cum quicker. That is something unique to his own body. What I would suggest doing, is that as you are performing oral sex on him, with your hands, you can gently play with his balls or his inner thigh and this will turn him on. If you are feeling daring, you can gently run your finger around the outside of his anus which will also cause him pleasure. (But please make sure to really wash your hands afterwards for safety). I hope I've helped you out. Have a great time experimenting. Amanda

 

 

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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS

Ms. Robboy is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of The Center for Growth Inc and How To Have Good Sex Inc.  Alex practices marriage and family therapy and sex therapy, and also conducts periodic seminars about human sexuality throughout the northeastern United States.

Ms. Robboy graduated from the University of Pennsylvania where she earned a Masters degree in Social Work, a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education and a Post-Masters Certificate in Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy. Through the American Board of Sexology, she is a board certified sexologist and through the American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists a certified sex therapist.  Additionally, she is a licensed clinical social worker and a member of the American Board of Marriage and Family Therapy.

 

  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to alex@howtohavegoodsex.com and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 
                                                                                    

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