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difficulty putting his penis into my vagina. Help (written by Dr. Pluhar)
it in (written by Dr. Pluhar)
to orgasm during intercourse (written by Dr. Pluhar)
Having difficulty putting his penis into my vagina. Help (written by Dr. Pluhar)
If you can answer this for me, I'll love you SO much (not that I don't
already think you're awesome). My boyfriend and I tried to have sex this morning
(first time for both of us), and his penis just wouldn't go inside of me. We
used a lubricated condom, and I was plenty wet, but it just didn't work. I also
didn't experience any pain- so should I try harder? It kept slipping out from...
where it's supposed to be. We have a great relationship, and both of us laughed
about it, but I would really appreciate some advice on how we can get it to
work. Thank you so so much! --Leah
your boyfriend's penis fully erect when you tried to have intercourse? I
ask this because if it is partially erect it sometimes can be difficult to
insert the penis into the vagina. If it wasn't, you may want to try
stimulating his penis more before intercourse (e.g., with your hand or mouth, or
he could masturbate himself). You might also try a different position.
If you were in the "missionary" position (him on top, you on your
back), try reversing it so that you are on top on him. This can offer you
more control over the positioning of your vaginal opening and his penis.
Use your hand(s) to direct the penis and hold it in place until you feel
comfortable. Remember, this is a new "arrangement" for your two
bodies; give yourself some time to adjust. The last thing I would suggest
is that once you insert the penis, you might want to try just holding still
before moving around or thrusting. This way you can get used to the
sensation of intercourse. When you do move, start slowly and keep
communicating throughout to tell each other what you like and don't like.
With time and communication, I bet you will figure it out together! Hope this
Thanks for your question! First let me say that it's great that you and
your boyfriend were able to handle what might have been a stressful situation in
a lighthearted manner. This indicates to me that you are open and trusting
with one another and committed to figuring out a solution. It also sounds
like you've covered your bases in terms of condoms and lubrication, so you are
on the right track.
Getting it in (written by Dr. Pluhar)
Ask Dr. Erika Pluhar,
My b/f and I have been going out for a while now.
It is the first time for both of us. We just recently tried having sex
but for some reason, I cannot seem to get it in. His penis is quite thick. I do
not know if that is the problem or if the problem is because there is something
with my hole. We have tried different positions but it just does not seem to
work and I got a slight cut by my hole. Can you please give me some advice on
this situation and tell me if its possible for my hole to be small since I m
quite small and thin myself. Small & thin
Dear Small & Thin,
Most girls are born with a thin membrane, called a hymen, that partially or
totally covers the vaginal opening. Oftentimes, during childhood and
adolescence, the hymen is broken or stretched from activities such as sports, or
from tampon use. It may be that yours is still partially intact and that
is making it difficult for your partner's penis to enter your vaginal opening.
If his penis is thick, I would recommend starting with fingers (yours or his)
and SLOWLY entering your vagina, adding a finger as you feel comfortable.
Using a water- or silicone-based lubricant (such as Astroglide, KY Jelly, or
Eros) may help make it easier and maybe less uncomfortable for you. Once
you feel comfortable with fingers, then try his penis again. Again
lubrication and condom (which is also important to protect you both against
sexually transmitted infections) can help make it easier for his penis to enter
your vagina. Go slow and communicate with each other about how it feels
along the way. Good
luck, Dr. Erika Pluhar
How to orgasm during intercourse (Written by Dr. Pluhar)
Ask Dr. Erika Pluhar,
I have a question about sex for you. My girlfriend and me have been having
sex for a while now and I can't get her to have an orgasm with me being inside
of her. I can however give her an orgasm with my hand by rubbing her but
not while actually having sex. It's been really bugging me because I
shouldn't be the only one having an orgasm during the actual sexual intercourse.
Now I heard, but Iím not sure that their are two separate things inside of a
female and if you go into the wrong area she won't be able to have an orgasm.
I don't know if that is true or not and I feel like Iím doing something wrong.
I hope that you can help me. Thanks a lot, I hope to hear from you soon. Rob
Thank you for your question. First of all, it's perfectly normal that your
girlfriend doesn't experience orgasm from your penile thrusting alone. In
fact, many women need clitoral stimulation alone or in addition to vaginal
stimulation to have an orgasm. So, rest assured that neither of you are
doing anything wrong. There are some positions you can try that will
increase clitoral friction. The woman-on-top position allows her pelvic
area to push against yours and gives her control over the speed, motion, etc.
This may make her more likely to orgasm with you inside of her. You may
also try a position in which you are both lying on your sides, leaving hands
free to stimulate the clitoris. You might also try adding a vibrator
during sex, so that she can stimulate herself while you thrust. The most
important thing is that you recognize that you're not doing anything wrong.
Just keep communication about what feels good open and broaden your perspective
on what is pleasurable. We live in a society that is very goal-oriented
about sex--if both people don't experience mutual, multiple, simultaneous
orgasms during intercourse, it's almost as if we've failed. But it doesn't have
to be that way. The best thing about sex is that there isn't one right way
to do it. Everybody has things that feel better to him or her than others.
Remember, the brain is ultimately our biggest sex organ so use your
for your question about two separate things inside a female, I think you are
referring to the g-spot. On the front wall of the vagina, about two inches
in, is some spongy tissue. In some women, this spot can become very
sensitive when sexually aroused and stimulated by a finger, penis, or other
object. Some women can rub the g-spot and experience orgasm (either with
or without clitoral stimulation). Some women even experience ejaculation
from g-spot stimulation (it looks like urine but it isn't). Remember,
though, that the g-spot does not have the same sensitivity in all women and some
women may not feel like they have a sensitive spot there at all. For these
women, the clitoris is the most important spot for pleasure. The best
approach is to ask your woman and find out what feels good for her! I hope this
helps, Dr. Erika Pluhar