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 Orgasm

  • Orgasm and pain (written by Dr. Pluhar)  

  • The female orgasm (written by Dr. Pluhar)

  • How to orgasm during intercourse (written by Dr. Pluhar)

HTHGS: Orgasm and pain (written by Dr. Pluhar)

 Ask Dr. Erika Pluhar,

Hi Erika. Me and my girlfriend are having a bit of a problem, and I was wondering if you might be able to tell me if this problem is unheard of or not. It seems that after she orgasms, a little while later (maybe half an hour, an hour, or two) she feels a large internal pain in the area of her stomach. It lasts hours sometimes. She doesn't want me to think it is because of the orgasms, as she knows it would make me feel bad, but I suspect this is the case, and I was wondering if this problem sounds like anything you have ever heard about. I am indeed trying to convince her to go to the doctor, but she is quite reluctant to do so. I am just too curious to wait, and I was wondering if you could help me. Thanks a lot! ~anonymous

 

Dear Anonymous,

I agree with you, and would urge your girlfriend to go to a clinician and get a check-up to find the cause of the pain.  Without more information, it is difficult to say what may be causing the pain, but the best bet is to get it checked out by a health care professional.

Hope this helps,

Dr. Erika Pluhar

 

HTHGS How to orgasm during intercourse (Written by Dr. Pluhar)

Ask Dr. Erika Pluhar,
I have a question about sex for you.  My girlfriend and me have been having sex for a while now and I can't get her to have an orgasm with me being inside of her.  I can however give her an orgasm with my hand by rubbing her but not while actually having sex.  It's been really bugging me because I shouldn't be the only one having an orgasm during the actual sexual intercourse.  Now I heard, but Iím not sure that their are two separate things inside of a female and if you go into the wrong area she won't be able to have an orgasm.  I don't know if that is true or not and I feel like Iím doing something wrong.  I hope that you can help me. Thanks a lot, I hope to hear from you soon. Rob

Dear Ron,
Thank you for your question.  First of all, it's perfectly normal that your girlfriend doesn't experience orgasm from your penile thrusting alone.  In fact, many women need clitoral stimulation alone or in addition to vaginal stimulation to have an orgasm.  So, rest assured that neither of you are doing anything wrong.  There are some positions you can try that will increase clitoral friction.  The woman-on-top position allows her pelvic area to push against yours and gives her control over the speed, motion, etc.  This may make her more likely to orgasm with you inside of her.  You may also try a position in which you are both lying on your sides, leaving hands free to stimulate the clitoris.  You might also try adding a vibrator during sex, so that she can stimulate herself while you thrust.  The most important thing is that you recognize that you're not doing anything wrong.  Just keep communication about what feels good open and broaden your perspective on what is pleasurable.  We live in a society that is very goal-oriented about sex--if both people don't experience mutual, multiple, simultaneous orgasms during intercourse, it's almost as if we've failed. But it doesn't have to be that way.  The best thing about sex is that there isn't one right way to do it.  Everybody has things that feel better to him or her than others.  Remember, the brain is ultimately our biggest sex organ so use your imagination!!

 As for your question about two separate things inside a female, I think you are referring to the g-spot.  On the front wall of the vagina, about two inches in, is some spongy tissue.  In some women, this spot can become very sensitive when sexually aroused and stimulated by a finger, penis, or other object.  Some women can rub the g-spot and experience orgasm (either with or without clitoral stimulation).  Some women even experience ejaculation from g-spot stimulation (it looks like urine but it isn't).  Remember, though, that the g-spot does not have the same sensitivity in all women and some women may not feel like they have a sensitive spot there at all.  For these women, the clitoris is the most important spot for pleasure.  The best approach is to ask your woman and find out what feels good for her! I hope this helps, Dr. Erika Pluhar

 

 

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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS

Ms. Robboy is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of The Center for Growth Inc and How To Have Good Sex Inc.  Alex practices marriage and family therapy and sex therapy, and also conducts periodic seminars about human sexuality throughout the northeastern United States.

Ms. Robboy graduated from the University of Pennsylvania where she earned a Masters degree in Social Work, a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education and a Post-Masters Certificate in Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy. Through the American Board of Sexology, she is a board certified sexologist and through the American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists a certified sex therapist.  Additionally, she is a licensed clinical social worker and a member of the American Board of Marriage and Family Therapy.

 

  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to alex@howtohavegoodsex.com and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 
                                                                                    

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September 19, 2006