Spicing Things Up

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Spicing Things Up
How To Have Good Sex, Inc.

Ask Lancie,

I have been with this girl for 4 months off and on. The relationship sometimes get boring. What do you think I should do to spice things up? I want to have sex with her but, she wants to wait. What should I do to change her mind? Bored

Dear Bored,

There are several ways to spice up a relationship.

First you could try the romantic angle.

-Take her to the beach and watch the sunrise

-Make her a candlelight dinner at home

-Take her away for the weekend camping or to a bed and breakfast

-Go to a club and dance all night

-Go on a picnic

-Go swimming naked under the moonlight

-Go to Victoria's Secret and have her give you a fashion show (buy the best one if you can afford it)

Second you can try the excitement angle.

-Teach her how to do one of your favorite sports, i.e. mountain biking, ice hockey

-Learn how to do one of her favorite sports i.e. yoga, snow boarding, rollerblading

-Learn how to do something new together, i.e. jumping out of an airplane, cooking

-Take up a hobby together, i.e. pottery, painting, playing chess, hiking

Third you can try spicing it up in the bedroom.

-Finger paint each others naked body

-Decorate each other with food and lick it off

-Explore each others body in the dark and in the light

-Please her orally and have her please you

-Give each other a massage

-Blind fold one another and let the other undress you ( this helps to build trust also)

-Put on a strip show for each other

-Some like to tie each other up and do some free exploration (this also works on trust)

Just use your imagination a little bit and try to create ways in which you are both being satisfied. Four months is relatively quick to be getting bored in a new relationship. If these tips do not work with your current girlfriend, you may want to try them in the future to add adventure to an already exciting relationship.

There is nothing I can tell you that will make this girl want to go to bed with you. That decision is solely up to her. You can make sex more attractive by turning really turning her on, however, in the endNo means No. Remember both of you can still enjoy a variety of sexual experimentation without intercourse.

This tip is originally written by Lancie Martin Mazza, LCSW

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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS

Ms. Robboy is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of The Center for Growth Inc and How To Have Good Sex Inc. Alex practices marriage and family therapy and sex therapy, and also conducts periodic seminars about human sexuality throughout the northeastern United States.

Ms. Robboy graduated from the University of Pennsylvania where she earned a Masters degree in Social Work, a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education and a Post-Masters Certificate in Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy. Through the American Board of Sexology, she is a board certified sexologist and through the American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists a certified sex therapist. Additionally, she is a licensed clinical social worker and a member of the American Board of Marriage and Family Therapy.

Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved.
The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to alex@howtohavegoodsex.com and I will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website.

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