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Blowjobs

  • How to give head without gagging (written by Calee Spinney, BA)

  • Tips for giving better fellatio (written by other sexperts)

HTHGS: How to give head without gagging (written by Calee Spinney, BA) 

Ask Calee, My wife is a very loving wife who has been trying for the last year to give me a good blow job. The problem is she cannot do it without gagging and being forced to stop because of it. Because of this reason, she does not like giving blowjobs. Is there anything that can be done? Wanting a blowjob, 

Dear Wanting a blowjob, Luckily, there are a few things that you can try in situations like this. First off, it is really important that you continue to give her a lot of love and support while she works on this, because otherwise it will just turn her off of it more. 

I suggest that she try taking your penis in her mouth very slowly at first. This way, she can get used to having an object in her mouth, and can consciously work to overcome her gag reflex. If she just tries to go right at it straight away, she is bound to fail. So little steps are very important. 

Another tip is to have her place her hand below her mouth as she moves up and down with your penis in her mouth. This way, her hand serves as an extension of her mouth, and it will feels as if she is taking more of you in her mouth than she is. This serves the double function of providing more pleasure to you, while not forcing her to try to deep-throat your penis. 

It also helps if you are really sure to not thrust into her mouth while she is giving you a blow job. I know that it can be really hard sometimes, because it feels so good, and thrusting is a natural sexual pleasure response for men. But this unexpected movement can throw off even the most seasoned woman, causing her to gag. So this must be especially avoided while she is learning. 

Lastly, try to remember not to pressure her. If she just cant give you a blow job, then look for other inventive ways to be physical with each other. Its not always important to engage in every typical sexual behavior. Do what works for the two of you. Calee Spinney, BA

 

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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS

Ms. Robboy is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of The Center for Growth Inc and How To Have Good Sex Inc.  Alex practices marriage and family therapy and sex therapy, and also conducts periodic seminars about human sexuality throughout the northeastern United States.

Ms. Robboy graduated from the University of Pennsylvania where she earned a Masters degree in Social Work, a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education and a Post-Masters Certificate in Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy. Through the American Board of Sexology, she is a board certified sexologist and through the American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists a certified sex therapist.  Additionally, she is a licensed clinical social worker and a member of the American Board of Marriage and Family Therapy.

 

  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to alex@howtohavegoodsex.com and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 
                                                                                    

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