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Penis size and shape
How To Have Good Sex, Inc.

HTHGS: Too small (written by Calee Spinney) 

Ask Calee, 
I've never done this before....but "my friend" wants to know what you should do if you dated a man with a rather large penis for a long time and now you are dating a man....with a not so large penis and you cant seem to orgasm with this man, even though you are madly in love with him? Size really does matter.... other factors are that he is quite a bit older and he hits his peek rather quickly... Thanks, "O"- less in New Hampshire 

Dear O, 
I know that there is a lot of talk about there about the size of a penis, but fortunately it doesn't matter as much as you may think, and not in the way you might think. Generally, when we think about how big a penis is, we think length. When it comes to penises and sex, length doesn't really affect the amount of feeling that you get. This is because women don't have the right kind of nerve receptors in their vaginas to detect the depth to which an object is penetrating them. The majority of nerves in the vagina are in the outer 1/3, which virtually every man penetrates to. So it is actually the girth of the penis (the circumference) which matters, because the nerves at the opening of the vagina can feel this kind of difference. 

Also, the female pleasure center (the clitoris), is located outside of the vagina, so the size of your partners penis does not affect your ability to be orgasmic. As long as you are receiving clitoral stimulation (whether it be during intercourse itself, as a part of foreplay, or after he has climaxed), you will still be able to orgasm. Having a man climax before you do can certainly be frustrating. But fortunately, his orgasm does not have to signal the end of sex. He can continue to stimulate you orally or manually until you orgasm. Or, to help him delay his climax a bit, have sex with him on the bottom. This will allow him to remain more relaxed, which will give him more control over the timing of his orgasm. It will also give you more control over the pace of sex (which may help you orgasm), as well as make your clitoris more accessible for manual stimulation. 

His age shouldn't be a factor, because this does not affect his ability to have good sex. If you are as in love with him as you say, than all this will take is a little work from both of you! Good luck!

Letter to the editor,
RE:http://howtohavegoodsex.com/spinney.penis.size.and.shape.htm 

Dear Calee,
I guess I'm going to have to differ with you about women not having the right kind of nerve receptors to detect the depth of a penetration.  I really don't think that I'm composed that much differently than other women in this world, and I most certainly can tell when a man's penis is hitting against my cervix!  Sometimes, it can be a very pleasant sensation, and is a contributing factor to my reaching orgasm.  Other times, depending upon which man I have been with, it can be very uncomfortable, and the "depth factor" can actually take away from the experience of intercourse.  
I mean, I have to agree with you that there are a lot of nerve receptors at the opening of the vagina, and of course, around the G-spot, but your statement about not detecting depth just didn't ring true for me. Sincerely, Carolyn F.

 

 

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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS

Ms. Robboy is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of The Center for Growth Inc and How To Have Good Sex Inc.  Alex practices marriage and family therapy and sex therapy, and also conducts periodic seminars about human sexuality throughout the northeastern United States.

Ms. Robboy graduated from the University of Pennsylvania where she earned a Masters degree in Social Work, a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education and a Post-Masters Certificate in Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy. Through the American Board of Sexology, she is a board certified sexologist and through the American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists a certified sex therapist.  Additionally, she is a licensed clinical social worker and a member of the American Board of Marriage and Family Therapy.

 

  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to alex@howtohavegoodsex.com and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 
                                                                                    

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