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HTHGS: Unable to
Ok, no one i have asked has been able to answer this ? so i hope you can cause this is really bothering me well anyways my problem is that when i have sex or oral sex i cant eject sperm so i need to know what is wrong with me please help i really need it. Oh and when i masturbate i can eject cum it's just when i have regular and oral sex. Thanks, David
I'm assuming when you state you can not cum through "sex and oral sex" you mean that you cannot have an orgasm at all through vaginal intercourse or oral sex. I would be curious to know if you can have an orgasm at any time when you are with a partner?
The inability to have an orgasm with a partner in this way is
typically caused by psychological distress which inhibits the person from being comfortable enough to allow the body to function in a more natural fashion. This can be caused by a variety of factors and is fixable.
My suggestion would be to begin by talking with a partner about your concern. Then plan a series of sex dates together in the following order: 1) Just massage- each of you take turns massaging the others body letting each other know what feels good and not so good (no genital contact) 2) Massage w/ genitals- same as above but include the genitals. Focus should not be on any one part of the body (neither partner should have an orgasm) 3) Oral sex without orgasm 4) Intercourse without orgasm. Then start again and allow your self and your partners to experience orgasm at any point that feels comfortable but that there should be no obligations that either has to have and orgasm.
These techniques are explained to some degree in Helen Singer
Kaplan's book on sexual dysfunctions. It may be helpful to seek out a sex therapist in your area. The American Association of Sex
Educators, Counselors and Therapists are proud to present an online referral network to locate a certified sex educator, counselor, and therapist in your local area. To locate a therapist go to
http://www.howtohavegoodsex.com/therapis.htm good luck, chris
these tips were originally written by Chris Fariello , MA, MFT
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|September 19, 2006|