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How
To
Have
Good
Sex!
How to last longer
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Unable to "Cum" (written by Chris Fariello)
-
How to last longer (written by Alex Robboy, LSW)
HTHGS: Unable to
"Cum"
Dear Chris
Ok, no one i have asked has been able
to answer this ? so i hope you can cause this is really bothering me well
anyways my problem is that when i have sex or oral sex i cant eject sperm so i
need to know what is wrong with me please
help i really need it. Oh and when i
masturbate i can eject cum it's just when i have
regular and oral
sex. Thanks, David
Hi David,
I'm assuming when you state you can
not cum through "sex and oral sex" you mean that you cannot have an
orgasm at all through vaginal intercourse or oral sex. I would be curious to
know if you can have an orgasm at any time when you are with a partner?
The inability to have an orgasm with
a partner in this way is
typically caused by psychological
distress which inhibits the person
from being comfortable enough to allow the body to
function in a more natural fashion. This can be caused by a variety of factors
and is fixable.
My suggestion would be to begin by
talking with a partner about your concern. Then plan a series of sex dates
together in the following order: 1) Just massage- each of you take
turns massaging the others body letting each other know what feels good and
not so good (no genital contact) 2) Massage w/ genitals- same as above but
include the genitals. Focus should not be on any one part of the body (neither
partner should have an orgasm) 3) Oral sex without orgasm
4) Intercourse without orgasm. Then start again and allow your self and your
partners to experience orgasm at any point that feels comfortable but that
there should be no obligations that either has to have and orgasm.
These techniques are
explained to some degree in Helen Singer
Kaplan's book on sexual
dysfunctions. It may be helpful to seek out a sex therapist in your
area. The American Association of Sex
Educators, Counselors and
Therapists are proud to present an online referral network to locate
a certified sex educator, counselor, and therapist in your local
area. To locate a therapist go to
http://www.howtohavegoodsex.com/therapis.htm
good luck, chris
these tips were originally written by Chris Fariello , MA, MFT
* Do you want to try an herbal remedy? Just make sure you tell us if it
worked- we have only heard of the product - but have no idea if it is
effective
