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HTHGS: Many questions (written by Shan & Claude)

Ask Shannon & Claudette,

My partner are a young couple but we have sex quite often, I feel bad because he always does all the work even when I am on top, I would do it but I just really don’t know what to do and also I have never had an organism and I hear that most girls have their first one on their own but when I have tried it I don’t enjoy it I get more pleasure when my boyfriend does it but I still haven’t reached one and I wanted to know some thing we can do to reach my organism and something that I can to that will let him relax and me do the work

Thank you please respond to me ASAP!!!!

Dear Young Couple,

You seem to have many questions within this single e-mail. If you feel bad that he does all the work you have a variety of options most involve communicating with him! Could you tell him you want to do the work for a change? If he is hesitant to give up his role in doing all the work you could tie him up! You could set up a sexy scene with incentives for him letting you do the work, coax him into letting you set the speed, or just outright tell him how you feel and what you want. We hope you can communicate this to him because if you want to take a more active role in the “sex” but are not able to do so - it may even be a contributing factor to you not orgasming. We encourage you to enjoy and explore yourself and learn to please yourself. The last thing that you want is to be reliant on someone else for all of your pleasure. It may take some practice or repeated attempts or a vibrator, but we are sure you can grow to love your own touch.

Shan & Claude

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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS "Alex" Caroline Robboy is a certified sex therapist through the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists and an American Board Certified Sexologist. In addition, she is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and a member of the North American Society for Psychological Obstetrics and Gynecology.
	Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to alex@howtohavegoodsex.com and I will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website.
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