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Vaginal dryness
How To Have Good Sex, Inc.

HTHGS: Vaginal dryness (written by Shan & Claude)

Ask Shannon & Claudette,
I have had a problem with vaginal dryness for the past year.  When my boyfriend and I are kissing and touching, I feel myself getting aroused, but I hardly get wet at all.  When he touches me it is uncomfortable because my body is so dry, and that puts me out of the mood.  We always have to use a lot of lubricant , and it is frustrating for me because we have to stop what we are doing and spread on the goop.   I never had this problem until I was on the medication Paxil.  I have been off of it for a year now, and I still have not regained my normal sexual desire.   I also wonder if I have conditioned myself into not needing to be wet by using a vibrating massager.  I found I could orgasm with in 30 seconds or less with it, omitting foreplay and arousal.  I am 29 years old.  I hope you can help me.  Violet

Dear Violet,
We think that you have a lot of options.  The medicine may have contributed slightly to this, but you should have regained your normal sexual function by now.  We wouldn’t blame this on the vibrator either.  Our guess is that you need more pre-intercourse stimulation ­ more build up ­ more excitement.  Vaginal lubrication parallels a male getting an erect penis ­ the blood flows to the area.  Without adequate time and stimulation a guy may have time or be turned on enough to get hard and you may not have what you need to get wet.  If you continue to have problems we recommend you ask your gynecologist.  We believe that if you increase your excitement and seduction there is a good chance you will get wetter. Shan & Claude



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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS
"Alex" Caroline Robboy is a certified sex therapist through the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists and an American Board Certified Sexologist. In addition, she is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and a member of the North American Society for Psychological Obstetrics and Gynecology.


  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
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