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Bringing back the spark

HTHGS: Good books about bringing back the spark (Written by Yvonne K. Fulbright, MS.Ed.)

Ask Yvonne,
As a 40 year old individual who celebrated his 20
th wedding anniversary I would like to know is there a good book you would recommend to bring back the spark in our bedroom. I have noticed over the years the interest has dropped and I often find myself falling into the same old routine. I would welcome any suggestions you have to “fix” this problem. I have seen many ads for books and videos that are supposed to educate and stir up some lost and forgotten bedroom antics. We are very traditional, even conservative, but that doesn’t stop me from generating a strong desire to show my wife my passion and love for her, in ways that will rock her world.
Please respond. Sincerely, 40 and Rigid

Dear 40 & Rigid,
You have a wealth of sexuality books to choose from, whether at your local bookstore or on-line, e.g., at A good resource really depends on what you’re after.  Most of the books out there are on specific topics that could help spice up your sex life, like female fantasies, G-spot stimulation, games you can play, etc… You and your wife should make a special trip to a bookstore, or just hop on-line together, to see what appeals to you.

If you’re after books that cover all aspects of sex, check out Dr. Miriam Stoppard’s “The Magic of Sex,” Dr. Alex Comfort’s “Joy of Sex” books, or Dr. Ruth’s “Sex for Dummies.” 

There are also plenty of books on Tantric sex, which may be just what you and your wife need as far as developing greater intimacy, while exploring new sexual boundaries.  Margo Anand is a Tantric expert who has written “The Art of Sexual Ecstasy.”

On the whole, when looking at sexuality books, I would recommend sticking with the experts  those individuals who have had special training in sexuality/sexual health.  I am wary of and concerned about writers and journalists who give sex advice, yet have had no formal training in the field.  So look for books written by people with sex education/sexual health, sex therapy/counseling, or medical training. 
Yvonne K. Fulbright, MS.Ed.


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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS

Ms. Robboy is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of The Center for Growth Inc and How To Have Good Sex Inc.  Alex practices marriage and family therapy and sex therapy, and also conducts periodic seminars about human sexuality throughout the northeastern United States.

Ms. Robboy graduated from the University of Pennsylvania where she earned a Masters degree in Social Work, a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education and a Post-Masters Certificate in Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy. Through the American Board of Sexology, she is a board certified sexologist and through the American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists a certified sex therapist.  Additionally, she is a licensed clinical social worker and a member of the American Board of Marriage and Family Therapy.


  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
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