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Foreplay
How To Have Good Sex, Inc.
HTHGS: How to turn a guy on before
having sex (written by Shan & Claude)
Ask Shan & Claude,
Please help what are some ways you can turn a guy on before having sex.
Dear please help,
There about as many ways to turn a guy on before sex as there are guys in this
world. There are also many stereotypes about men being turned on by just
about anything! We are not going to speculate on that, but we have some general
ideas for you that may help. The seduction phase of arousal can be a wonderful
and rich part of sex. The key will be doing things or acting in ways that you
feel comfortable with and that it is a turn-on for him (and you!). Things
like massage, erotic talk, and sexy outfits have been staples in seduction for
centuries. What turns you on? Can you use yourself as a resource to
figure out what may turn him on? For example most of us enjoy great
eye contact and focused attention to help us feel “special” and desired.
One thing that people sometimes forget is that it is a turn-on to see your
partner enjoying themselves. What we mean is that if he can tell that you
are “into it” and that it gives you pleasure there is a certain likelihood
that it may excite him as well. If he can see that you are really enjoying
yourself it may be quite the aphrodisiac. So make sure to remember your own
needs and desires in this process. Shan & Claude
HTHGS:
Stimulation (written by Shan & Claude)
Ask Shan & Claude,
Please let me start out by saying what a wonderful newsletter this has become
for the past year that I've been reading it! I've told most of my girlfriends
about it (both virgins and non's) and it has helped us out a lot.
Anyways, I've been reading this
new letter since I was 15/16, thinking it would ready me for having sex with my
current boyfriend at that time. But I never did because some of the letters are
moving and you guys seem to really care, which made me care about giving my
virginity to the right person.
Anyways, sorry about the
rambling! =) I'm 18 now and I'm proud to say I'm a virgin still. But I guess I'm
exploring my sexuality a lot more cause there much more talk about it now a
days. But I think I'm seriously broken when it come to simulation! I don't get
pleasure what so ever from myself! I've tried things to put me into the mood,
but I just get turned off. My boyfriend turns me on so much, and I love him to
death, but I don’t get any real pleasurable feeling when he performs oral sex
or fingers me. We thought maybe something thicker and longer would suffice, but
I'm not "oh-so-ready" for sex intercourse. Would it be safe for me to
use a vibrator? Or do I have to be de-virgin-ized? I've been to the GYN, but
they weren't any help because I’m still a virgin. I hope my letter makes sense
to you guys. I'm just a little confused I guess??
Thanks in Advance!
0_o?? In the dark
Dear O_o?? In the dark,
We all have many mechanisms that we use to turn ourselves off and to stop us
from thinking about sex. We all are taught that to live in a civilized
society and to get through the day we must all turn ourselves off to every
temptation and every gorgeous person or thing or picture that we see. We
believe that we should actually practice being turned on these days! When
you see something that excites you or that is pleasing let yourself experience
it allow yourself to get wet or even just smile over something sexy!
Learn to appreciate being excited.
By
the way don’t do anything that you are not ready for! If his oral sex
and fingering isn’t pleasurable what makes you think that intercourse with
him will please you? Anyway, spend some quality time with yourself and try
to find pleasure in your body. Try to feel how good it feels when you comb
you hair, or when you touch your inner thighs. Of course you will want to
stimulate your clitoris but remember you have other parts of your body that
may give you pleasure as well. You are NOT broken you can experience
pleasure! We are sure of it. We are granting you permission right
now to enjoy yourself and to enjoy your partner! Using a vibrator could
be a wonderful way to explore pleasure! You do not have to put the
vibrator inside yourself if you are concerned with virginity or similar
issues. Most women vibrate their clits, which is outside the vagina.
We highly recommend that you find your pleasures before you proceed to
intercourse because if you just go for intercourse you may discover that it
hasn’t done anything to make you experience pleasure. Does that make
sense? We think we understand where you are coming from. We hope you
find your pleasure just dedicate some time and energy to it and have fun
celebrate yourself! Just don’t jump ahead to intercourse hoping to find
pleasure there or you may be disappointed. Find it first and then experience
intercourse later. You have time and should be comfortable. Shan &
Claude
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